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, by Aaron Hartzler
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Product details
File Size: 1494 KB
Print Length: 398 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: 031609465X
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers; 1 edition (April 9, 2013)
Publication Date: April 9, 2013
Language: English
ASIN: B008TVLJXY
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Aaron Hartzler grew up in an extremely conservative Christian family that did not have a tv, go to movies or listen to music. Even contemporary Christian rock because "you can't mix God's words with the Devil's beat." However, as he gets older he begins to question these beliefs. He begins to love rock music because it makes him feel happy and he can't understand how that can be a sin. Aaron participates in church services, teaches Good News children's group, acts in his Christian private school 's elaborately staged dramas all the while questioning the logic of his parents' strongest held beliefs, but ultimately finding his own way to peace and understanding with his family. All this is presented in a humorous (I can't count how many times I laughed out loud.) and sincere way to become one of the best memoir of "finding religion" that I have ever read.I also grew up in a religious Christian family and though my parents, thankfully, weren't so strict, I have often come into contact with people who believe in the ways of Aaron's parents and school administration. I could so identify with Aaron because his reaction to so much of what he saw in his life was my reaction. I often felt I was reading a more articulate version of my experience. The book is extremely well written for someone who doesn't have a background in writing (He's an actor and musician), but he manages to express so much of what I felt as a teenager in an engaging and intelligent way. I had and to this day, have many of the same questions that Aaron grappled with: if God knows every decision we will make before we are born, then why give us free will, if Jesus turned water to wine, then why is it not allowed to drink a glass of wine, how can a serial killer who asks for salvation days before execution make it into heaven while a good person in the jungles of Africa who didn't have the luck to hear about the Gospel won't make it into heaven to name a few. Aaron didn't really have anyone to whom he could turn to ask questions. Aaron, today an out homosexual as far as I have been able to understand in the book's press, grapples with sexual identity, although that is more or less only hinted at in this book. I get the feeling that that will be the subject of a sequel to this book. I would be very interested in reading this story and how his family accepted this.I would recommend this book to teens and adults alike, religious and non-religious because it is such a well written journey of faith. Even though Aaron ultimately rejects his parents' version of Christianity, he is never bitter or derisive.
Contrary to the blurb on the cover, this has nothing to do with "growing up gay." The author is firmly heterosexual throughout the book (which takes him as far as college). I kept waiting for him to discover his gay sexuality, but no luck, other than his occasional expressions of curiosity and admiration for well-muscled young men. It's quite well written, and gives a good description of life in a cult so extreme that movies and TV are forbidden and Christian rock is looked on as a tool of Satan. The high (or low) point in the book comes when the father beats his son and then asks forgiveness: not for the beating but for the sin of anger. And he invites the son to beat him in return! I'll draw the curtain of modesty on this scene. At the end of the book the young man is cheerfully headed off to Bible college. In a brief postscript he talks about having rejected his abusive family and crazy religion, but this was apparently only years later.
This book is a revelation for me. I mean, I saw myself in these pages, I relived parts of my own childhood between these lines. So much of it was familiar to me to such a high degree that I would cringe, or smile, as the memories rose up all around me. I couldn't help but compare my life to Aaron's, my family to his, because I can't escape the feeling that I've lived this life. Not exactly, sure, but he gave words to emotions and experiences I don't know if I could have ever described. And the impact I felt was so strong, the connection I made with this text was so real, I told people: if you ever want to know the CORE of my being, where I come from, and what made me, read this book.I am convinced the majority of conservative Christian public will not like this book much. For them, this book will read like a story of rebellion, a willing fall from grace, a continual practice of sin.For me, this was a story of comfort: finally, someone will talk about it. And now I know that there are others like me out there. I couldn't put it down; I couldn't stop reading. I can't remember the last time I devoured a book in 2 days. (Maybe Mockingjay?)Aaron Hartzler is the son of a preacher. He grew up in a (much) stricter home than I did, but many of the experiences I had were similar--my household had a ban on secular music, but I was generally allowed to go to movies; my parents felt that my talents are to be used (probably exclusively) for the glory of God and the work of being a missionary. As a consequence, this meant writing fiction, particularly contemporary romance as it existed in 90's and today -- which is my dream, just as Aaron's dream was to act, and not just in "biblical dramas" -- would be a big NO-NO, as my mother called it "pornography in print." But still, I relate to his experience. Especially to the discipline, at times harsh, but always intended to be loving, and to the constant stream of Scripture that flowed from the mouths of both his parents and mine. There are other theological differences between our upbringings, but on the whole, there was nothing too far-fetched/absurd/beyond the scope of imagination in this book that I had difficulty comprehending (which I think some might simply just write off as "crazy".)Aaron's experience, even to me, is extreme. I think he handled the entire tale with love, care, and respect, and the memoir is beautifully, achingly written from the point of view of a teenager coming to a crossroads. It is a coming-of-age story, and a spiritual journey in a sense--the story of a boy who finds oneself amid the many things we were taught to believe and the heavy expectations placed upon him by his ultra-conservative Christian parents. He struggles with the conflicting emotions of wanting to please his parents and wanting to be his own man. And the tension that builds steadily due to the delicate balancing act of trying to reconcile the two people he feels he needs to be is layered well throughout the book. Kudos to Aaron for having the courage to tell it.I feel like I understand myself more after reading this book. I know it wasn't self-help and it wasn't meant to be therapeutic for me, but in a way it was. I found myself seeking out answers about how he reconciled the two parts of himself, but that wasn't really what this book was about. It was mostly about becoming one's own person, a journey I can appreciate.I look forward to any sequels!
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